Effective Use of the Rain Shade on Your Stroller

Most strollers come equipped with a rain shade. What a great concept! When it is pouring rain outside and you have to travel with your child in the stroller...we strap on the rain shade so our kids are in a cocoon & kept nice and dry while we brave it in the driving rain. I have a vivid memory from the summer of strolling the loop in Central Park with another dad. The sky appeared dark & gloomy, but we plowed along hoping it would blow over. Dead wrong!

The sky opened up with an intense thunder storm. When I finally made it home (water logged shoes squishing with each step & the shirt on my back plastered to my body), I peeled away the stroller rain shade only to find that my son was completely dry!

Pictured above, is my content son under the rain shade of his stroller. I know it is not raining. Consequently, most parents have discovered another resourceful way to use their stroller's rain shade. It can be used as a wind chill and cold protector. We needed to go to a playdate while NYC's temperatures were hovering in the teens yesterday. Strolling on the streets in the middle of the day, about 50% of the strollers I observed, also had the children covered under the protective rain shade. If your child refuses to wear gloves or mittens, this is a great option for you to still get out of the house in the freezing cold.


I have seen families using their rain shade as a tarp for a picnic in the park during the fall. I wonder if there are dozens of other ways to maximize the usage of your rain shade?

C-Section Births On the Rise

"A rapidly growing number of Big Apple moms are delivering their babies by Caesarean sections -- with convenience and doctors' fear of malpractice lawsuits fueling the dangerous trend, according to a new study by the nonprofit group Choices in Childbirth." I read an interesting article this week - Annie Karni of the NY Post, published Given a Wide Birth, which used information from a new study by Choices in Childbirth. They have found that C-section births are up 30% since 2000 & now approximately 30% of child births in NYC are by C-section surgery.

It sounds like more families enjoy the luxury of planning the date of their childbirth combined with the doctors pushing for the surgery to avoid losing their shirts in a lawsuit. It amazes me how advanced science has become where families & doctors can decide on a specific date and time on when to have their child!

Stuff Wars: Handling the Abundance of Gifts for Kids

I have a close friend that devotes an entire closet in their home for the storage of wrapped gifts for his two kids. I joked about it a while back, but I now understand his logic. He explained that his two year old would get somewhere between 25 - 30 presents for their birthday...No child needs 25 presents at the same time - sensory overload and too much clutter. Therefore, he decided that he wouldn't open all of the toy presents on their birthday. Instead, he would save most of them & give out a present every few weeks. He believes that his children are more appreciative in this manner than a one-shot present orgy. I don't blame him, except it makes writing thank you cards to your family and friends more challenging - "thanks for the wonderful gift. my son loves playing with it."

With this holiday season, our kids are getting overloaded with gifts from all ends - friends, family, friends of family, etc. With 8 days of Hanukkah or a dozen gifts stashed under the tree - well, you get the idea of a gift explosion for some of our kids. My 18-month old son unwraps a few of his presents, he grows bored of the unwrapping process quickly, and mom & dad are stuck opening the presents- deciding what stays, what gets returned, or what gets shipped off to grandmas house. Don't get me wrong. I do not mean to sound ungrateful, especially during these hard economic times. I know I am fortunate to have an abundance of gifts for our son. It's a good problem. But seriously, sometimes you get to that point where you assess your 400 - 800 square foot home & know that the only way to make room for the new stuff is to get rid of the old stuff. Sometimes it is hard to make that "happy, oh I love this gift face" when internal thinking kicks in with "where the heck are we going to put that."

Are other parents in the same boat?

Grandma's Gifts Need Extra Reindeer, an amusing piece by Julie Scelfo of the NY Times, helps to answer this question for us. Scelfo writes, "few resources exist to help Mr. Oranzo and countless other (parents) like him who are navigating what many discover to be an emotionally laden issue: how to keep well-meaning loved ones from overdoing it with gifts for the children. Online message boards are filled with pleas from exasperated parents seeking advice on managing the endless influx of toys, and preventing what they see as the dual tragedies of creating waste — financial and environmental — and raising spoiled brats." The article navigates through a few families, and the tale of their woes with over-generous grandparents. What is the optimal solution?

Can New Parents Still Rage on New Year's Eve?

New Years Eve - One of my favorite nights out in NYC every year. For my first 15 years living in NYC, I have worked hard to organize as many friends as possible to head over to a bar or lounge and pay absurd prices for food and alcohol. So worth it. There is nothing like getting together with a group of 15 - 20 close friends and ringing in the new year together.

Last year, was a bit different because we had a 6 month old to factor into our plans. We decided to get together with some of our new parent friends that rented a lounge room in someones residential building. We slept our son in the bassinet of his stroller and parked him next to the other sleeping babies...while we sipped champagne, feasted on sushi, and enjoyed the adult company of an electric new year's eve. It worked like a charm, until about 20 minutes before midnight, when he woke up and had a meltdown. We still had a great night out and he was easily soothed when we left the party.

Now, with an 18 month old to factor into this year's plan for new year's eve, I am baffled at what is the optimal solution. Sure, my wife & I can buy some champagne, and cook a gourmet dinner, while we enjoy each other's company for the night in our home while our son sleeps soundly in his crib...or, we can be a bit selfish & explore some options for a great night out.

I am throwing this out to my NYC Dads Group readers. What do you recommend we do? Do we get a sitter and pay a fortune for their services only to go out on the town and pay another small fortune for dinner & drinks? Do we stay in for quiet & intimate bonding time? Do we get together with other parents that have kids the same age and hope for best? Do we stay over a friends house in the suburbs so the kids can sleep comfortably and the parents can live it up?

Pros and Cons of Becoming an At-Home-Dad

I know most of the people who read this blog are involved fathers...BUT, maybe there are a few dads out there struggling with the decision of whether they should jump into the role of an an at-home-dad...or the role was forced upon them.

Like most job or career decisions, you might sit down and create a t-chart weighing your options carefully- the pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages, etc. The Pros and Cons of Being a Stay-At-Dome-Dad: Should I Stay or Should I Go by I.J. Schecter on the Pregnancy Today website, is an article I was able to relate to & would recommend it to dads considering taking on this rewarding role. Schecter's list is below:

PROS

• You're your own boss
• You'll witness the big moments
• You'll ease the pressure on your other half
• You'll become your child's best friend
• Guilt-free guy time on nights and weekends

CONS

• Shrinking vocabulary syndrome
• There's no formal reward-and-recognition program like "good job dad!"
• Personal time? What personal time?
• Separation anxiety
• You're going to be tired

We can certainly add to this list to make it even more comprehensive & give parents the information they need to make an informed decision. I would add that another pro is the opportunity to meet and connect with other parents who share sound advice and best practices to support and help you along the way. These are people I probably would never have become friends with, but as a result, I am a better person and parent because of them. I would add a con of the loneliness you can feel sometimes (sense of isolation), especially being trapped inside on a cold day or when your child is sick.

Dads - what Pros and/or Cons would you add to this list?

Thanks From NYC Dads Group

Wishing you every happiness this Holiday Season and much prosperity in the New Year. Thank you for being a great listener and avid reader of NYC Dads Group. We look forward to providing even better content for dads in the coming year. Suggestions for improvement are always welcome.

All the best to you and your family
Lance

Going Against the Grain

I did something today that I haven't done in quite some time. I ventured onto the NYC subway system during the morning rush hour with the little guy. What a zoo! There are certain things that I do not miss about the Corporate life - this is certainly one of them. My son enjoyed trying to make eyes at all of the straphangers, but most of them paid him no mind. They were too focused on their music, smart phone video games, newspapers, or catching up on some lost sleep.

We got out at Grand Central Station to transfer to the Shuttle over to Times Square. The flood of bodies passed by us like we didn't exist. Going against the grain, the look on their faces was what intrigued me most. Everyone had that look! You know the one I am talking about-staring at the ground in front of them-focused so intently to get where they are going. Was where they were going REALLY that important. At the time, I am sure they think so.

At a reflective time like this, the life of an at-home-dad is sobering. More often than not, I get to breath a little more easily and take in my surroundings when I am going from point A to B. Don't get me wrong. We are usually in a rush and run late to just about all of our play dates & appointments. Consequently, we do stop and appreciate the little things. Even it is explaining to my 17 month old son...the liquor advertisement on the wall, or describing the flashing red lights on the subway, or explaining why people keep getting on or off the subway. We stop to appreciate and observe.

We won't be traveling during rush hour for a while. As I reflect on the hectic morning "commute", I still smile, amused by the life that I lead these days. Lucky me! Despite the experience, I still miss working sometimes and all of that adult interaction.

At-home parents, do you still miss the hustle to work?

More Reading For Dads - Top Dad Blogs

I received an email the other day from Keith Wilcox, author of the Almighty Dad Blog. I was surprised and impressed to learn that there was a dad out there that went through the time consuming process of aggregating the data to compile a list of the top 125 dad blogs. Frankly, I didn't know there were even that many dad blogs!

This list was recently updated during December, 2009. The Almighty Dad site claims that "rankings were based on public measures on link authority and traffic." Almighty Dad Top Dad Blog List- Updated will provide more details on the science behind the rankings as well as provide the entire list.

Who is number 1? #1 on the list is Geek Dad from Wired Magazine. #2 is Dads Divorce. #3 is Republic of T. #4 is Daddy Dialectic from The Daddy Shift author, Jeremy Adam Smith. #5 is Dad Labs - those hilarious dads that create the videos that keep you coming back.

NYC Dads group posted a respectable #69 in the top dad blogs. If you enjoy reading this blog, subscribe to it or become a follower, and please share it with some other dads so you can help build our traffic. Maybe we can improve to the top 50 next year!

More importantly, with all of your "free time"...hopefully you will peruse the comprehensive list, and find some new dad blogs out there that resonate with you. Happy reading!

We Miss You Rebel Dad

I began my journey as an at-home dad in NYC about 18 months ago. There was little in the form of resources geared toward involved dads - in parenting books, websites, and local parenting classes or support groups. When I first reached out to the internet in my new role, I found humor and engaging content on reading Rebel Dad. The founder of Rebel Dad, Brian Reid is "a former at-home dad who remains interested in the question of how modern fathers can maximize their connection to family."

Some of you might have noticed that the "well" of blog entries on the Rebel Dad site have started to dry up. Blog entries on that site used to come out frequently, with fresh content, honest perspective, and covered an array of relevant topics on fatherhood. No entries for over a month on his site. What happened to Rebel Dad?

Rebel Dad has been keeping busy. He has been writing daily posts for "On Parenting" at The Washington Post. If you didn't get the memo about his new gig, you should really tune in sometime. The writing from his perch at On Parenting has certainly cast a wider net than just focusing on involved fathers. I have been enjoying his take on parenting topics ranging from having a holiday card with your kids on it (I am sure your mailbox has been flooded with them), whether you should lie to your kids about Santa, or if allowing dads in the delivery room is a bad idea. Sure, I am a bit selfish, and would like more content from Rebel Dad on at-home dads & involved fathers...but, why shouldn't all parents benefit from his writing. Brian Reid has enabled me to reflect and take heed, that many of the topics that I am most interested in as an involved parent are not just topics "for dads." Thanks Brian for broadening my lens on parenting!

What Are We Going To Do With All This STUFF?

Hats off to Matt S. with another informative and inspirational "guest blog" entry this week...

As residents of NYC, we tend to have very little space for stuff, especially for stuff we don't need anymore. As our second child outgrows all the gear, clothes, and toys that we have acquired over 4+ years of child-rearing, we wanted to find a place to donate items that are still in good condition, but we don't need anymore. After a lot of research, we found Baby Buggy, a non-profit organization dedicated to "providing New York City's families in need with essential equipment, clothing, and products for their infants and young children." We donated four bags of items and the "giving" experience was great and all donations are tax deductible! Baby Buggy's website lists the items they accept and the process for donation.

I thought my experience would end there, but a few weeks later, I received a note in the mail from the Executive Director of the organization, Katherine Snider. She was so happy to receive a donation from a Dad and wanted to figure how to get more Dads involved. One thing led to another, and I visited the Baby Buggy headquarters last week to learn more about the operation and brainstorm ways to get our Dads group involved.

Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry's wife) started Baby Buggy with some friends in 2001 because they had the same problem we do-- what to do with all the baby "stuff" that is perfectly useful, but not needed anymore. Jessica's mother is a social worker, so Jessica was very aware that many families would be happy to receive these items. With some very smart advice from her Mom, Jessica decided to support existing non-profits that target families rather than reinvent the wheel by trying to connect with families directly. Baby Buggy is now working with over fifty community organizations in all five boroughs to meet the needs of their clients.

Every organization has a story, but I was very impressed with the partnership that has developed between Baby Buggy and Nurse Family Partnership (NFP). This organization works with low-income, first-time mothers during their pregnancy and the first two years of their child's life to "improve pregnancy outcomes for the mothers; improve child health and development by helping parents provide more responsible and competent care for their child; and improve a mother's economic self-sufficiency by helping her develop a vision for her own future, plan future pregnancies, and continue her education and find work." Baby Buggy supports NFP by providing critical items that are very expensive but necessary in creating a safe environment for a child. For example, a visiting nurse will bring a baby bathtub, provided by Baby Buggy, when he/she comes to teach the mother about safely bathing a child. When teaching about safe sleeping, the visiting nurse brings a new crib and mattress provided by Baby Buggy. This reinforces NFP's curriculum and removes some of the financial burden from the parent.

With all of this and more in mind, I committed myself to helping Katherine get more Dads involved. I was curious why they cared about Dads? They seem to be doing just fine with the 100% female "Friends of Baby Buggy" team. Katherine explained that Baby Buggy and their community partners are working on getting more Dads involved with their families, and this would be a lot more effective if Dads were involved with Baby Buggy. Stay tuned for ways the NYC Dads Group supports this amazing organization!

A Musical Journey For a Dad and His Daughter

Last week, our NYC Dads Group went on a musical journey. Here is this week's "guest blog" post from Rich D., a dad who knows his way around the golf course. He shares his experience with his daughter & the dads group at Music Together:

I am writing regarding the latest NYC Dads Group weekly meeting at Eastside Westside Music Together. I found it to be such a positive event that I wanted to share my experience with everyone in the hope you will benefit from this class as well. I would also like to compliment and thank both Lance, who organized the event, and Sally Woodson, who was our entertainer/instructor. Woodson was both extremely talented and informational and kept the class very light. Without both their hard work, my daughter and I would have missed out on this incredible experience.

Upon learning that our group’s weekly get together would be with Music Together, I was immediately interested to learn more. My daughter loves dancing with her mom and enjoys the singing on Sesame Street so I thought this would be a get together I couldn’t miss…and was I right.

As we arrived, we were greeted by Woodson, who immediately made us feel welcome and comfortable- even with a camera crew setting up to film us! We began right on time which as we know is important with a baby’s feeding and sleep schedule. Our group was organized in a circle and instructed that we must have fun! The first song was a fun welcome/introductory ditty that set the tone for the rest of the class.

The rest of the class consisted of light/fun songs with beats that help children learn music and kept the dads entertained. The children were able to touch and play various instruments, which enhanced their learning experience. I learned a great deal from the class, which I have been able to incorporate into the music we listen to at home.

I initially attended the weekly meeting for my daughter’s entertainment. However, I found Music Together was such a wonderful experience in every aspect that I have already called to sign her up for the next session of classes!

What differentiates Music Together from other parent & me music classes? Check out The Sound of Family Music by Jean Holloran Monaco (an article in the December issue of New York Family magazine), which provides details about the success story of Eastside Westside Music Together and their research based curriculum.

Which Parent & Me Gym Class is Right For You?

For parents interested in parent & me classes (most companies label them as mommy & me classes- but, they are always accepting of dads as well) with their child, it is often difficult to decide which class is right for you. Fortunately, most parent & me classes allow you take a FREE trial class. The prices of many gym & music classes vary greatly as do their curriculum. I suggest taking the time out of your day to schedule & test out a few different companies to see which class meets the needs of your child most, which class keeps them most engaged, and which class is conveniently located for you.


The Wall Street Journal published an article by Shivani Vora last week, titled Babes in Gyms: Testing Fitness Classes. In a city filled with dozens of gym classes, Vora did good job of comparing four of the more popular gym classes in NYC - My Gym Enterprises, Gymboree Play & Music, Kidville, & 74th Street Magic. Maybe reading this article will help you better answer the question, "Does your six-month-old need to hit the gym?" Thanks to Evan for sending this interesting article my way.

Chuckle at Daddy N' Me Cartoon Series from Baby Blues Comics

I received some newspaper comic strips from a family member last week that really made me laugh! Cartoonists Rick Kirkman & Jerry Scott did some creative & entertaining work for the Baby Blues Comic in a series titled Daddy N' Me. Based on copyright laws, I am unable to scan in the comics for viewing, but would recommend checking out the illustrations on The Cartoonist Group site (via links below) that go with the captions provided:

Caption published on 12/9/09: Daddy N' Me Exercise Class. The first thing we're going to do is STRETCH! Ready …? STRRRRRETCH! Reminder, this is not a competition … He started it!

Caption published on 12/10/09: Once again, our Daddy N' Me class is all about fun, not competition. Do you hear me, Bob? Man up April! Man up!

Caption published on 12/11/09: How was the Daddy n' Me Class? It was great! I can honestly say that after an hour of kids' songs and exercise, I feel really connected to Wren. And I can just as honestly say that I feel like kicking Raffi's a.. DARRYL!

Media outlets continue to spotlight involved fathers. Songs about at-home dads, music videos on at-home dads, books about involved fathers, reality shows like the Househusbands of LA, the Happy SAHD documentary on at-home dads, & now comic strips highlighting the shift of dads joining in the parent & me class revolution. What is next?

Lastly, a shout out to Baby Blues for illuminating the stereotype that when dads are involved, it is all about the competition!

Ceritified Nannies

Did you know that nannies in England can go to college to become professional nannies?

Walking the playground in NYC on any given weekday, it is hard not to notice the sea of nannies. I know most caregiving responsibilities and knowledge by nannies are probably learned on the job or from their own parental experience. However, I was impressed to learn that nannies can now become certified. Certifiable Nannies, a recent article by Sara Stewart published in The NY Post, is about nannies taking a NY State Board of Ed. certified course with Absolute Best Care Learning Center. The article mentions the need for training nannies to keep anecdotals and document their days for parental review - books read to the children, playdates they went on, etc. Reminds me of the expectations parents have from their child's teacher. It seems like certified courses like this demonstrate that a nanny is not just a job anymore, but could be a career that people should take seriously.

The Challenge of a Parent Having a Conversation with a Non-Parent

Nights out with the boys are always fun! We talk sports, upcoming vacations, and our kids. Let's face it, when you have kids, it is extremely difficult to NOT talk about your kids. Fortunately, most of my close friends have kids so it's easy to maintain that common ground as life moves on. My days of clubbing, late nights out during the week, and spontaneity are over (I almost sound boring!). As an involved father, I can empathize with Kate Dopirak, the mom featured in Night With a Non-Mom published in December's New York Family Magazine. In this brief article, Dopirak shares her "struggle to find common ground with her closest friend (who is fun, carefree, and kidless)."

I guess guys will always have sports (stereotyping?) as a common ground, but this is a constant challenge for many parents. Do you have difficulty remaining close with your kidless friends?

Don't Bring The Kitchen Sink on Vacation! Rent Your Baby Equipment

When traveling with a young child, you are tempted to pack everything with you so you have what you need at your destination - books, toys, stroller, travel high chair, pack & play, etc.. Now, with all of the airlines charging extra for baggage, parents need a better option. We discovered a viable solution when we flew to Florida last winter - Family Rentals in South Florida. This company provides the opportunity to rent a wide range of safe & sanitized baby equipment including full size cribs, car seats, high chairs, strollers, toys, bikes, and more. You can rent the stuff for just one day or for a whole week like we did. More importantly, I found their costs to be very affordable as well. Instead of paying $100 to lug our own pack & play onto the plane, I was able to rent a full size crib with sheets, bumper, and mattress for about half the price. Plus they pick-up and deliver the stuff for free!

Before we packed up our stuff for our recent venture to Phoenix, Arizona, I did an online search to find a similar company to rent our baby equipment. Lucky again, to have found Anything For Baby, inc. in Scottsdale. Our Peg Prego high chair was brand new out of the box! So, before you plan to pack up the kitchen sink for your child - check out to see if your destination has a baby equipment rental place. Thank me later!

While I am on my parent travel soapbox, here is one more helpful tip for you airport travelers who own a car. Instead of paying a car service to bring us to Newark Airport, and worrying about whether they have a car seat...we brought our own car, and used Avistar Parking. They are inexpensive, shuttle you to the airport, and (if you call them when you are getting your bags) have your car running when you pick it up! We arrived home last Saturday night during the snow - so we found it be a valuable asset to have our car running with the heat & defroster pumping so we could get on our way ASAP.

Does Stay-At-Home Fatherhood Dull Your Intellect?

As an at-home-parent, I try to keep my son & I busy with playdates, dads group activities, parent & me classes, visiting family, and errands. However, truth be told, most of our active time is spent together - alone. In my minimal spare time, I am keeping in touch with friends, on email, or blogging. I do not have the free time to do as much reading as I would like. Therefore, most of my time is spent socializing with a 16-month old child. Does it affect my intelligence over time? Are my losing my sharp edge and wit?

If your like me & have had these types of thoughts, then you will truly enjoy Is My kids Making Me Not Smart, the latest ramble on Salon.com from parenting journalist Aaron Traister. Thanks to Adam for sharing this gem! This is one of those articles where I sat at my PC nodding in agreement with what Traister is describing in his latest article. His opening statement, "I don't know if parenting makes you chronically stupid or just temporarily slow, but after nearly four years of child rearing, most of them spent as a stay-at-home dad, my intellect has been dulled to a nub", has made me reflect on the past year of at-home daddyhood. For me, I feel like I have become more intelligent in another world so distant from what I was educated in or passionate about learning. So, maybe I am less smart in world news, politics, recent company mergers, what charter school recently opened, and what skit was controversial on Saturday Night Live this week. Sure, maybe my wit is a bit off kilter, and my first thought during a conversation with someone is something about my child. Consequently, maybe, I am more well rounded, and a better person for it. Jury is still out...

Do you feel that parenting has affected your intelligence level? In a negative way?

NYC Dads Head up to Bronx Botanical Gradens For Holiday Train Show

The swagger is back! This "guest blog" entry is from Josh K., a valued member of our dads group and friend, who continues to man-up and plan & organize exciting activities for the dads in our group. With the awesome combination of dads, kids, and trains, Josh shares a recap of our event last week for many parents that are trying to decide if they will get the bang for their buck on an adventure at the Bronx Botanical Gardens Holiday Train Show...

On Wednesday, December 2nd, the NYC Dads Group meet-up was set for The Holiday Train Show at the Bronx Botanical Gardens. The train show is one of my 4.5-year-old son Miles’ favorite things to go see, and this is his third year in a row attending. The show combines two major “attractions,” model trains and model architecture, with the buildings of New York City, complete with bridges, made out of plants (remember, this is the Botanical Gardens).

The show was about the same as previous years, with a few new buildings (Penn Station before it was torn down to build Madison Square Garden, for example) but as the audience are generally older folks and younger children, it’s unlikely they’ll remember what they saw the previous time.

Building highlights include Yankee Stadium, the Empire State Building, the Apollo Theater, and the Brooklyn Bridge. They even have the Little Red Lighthouse to complement the George Washington Bridge. The trains are all large scale and extremely cool. The kids like to get close-up (unfortunately, there is very little you can actually touch) and it’s also fun to watch the trains go overhead across the bridges.

The show can get very crowded, especially during peak season, which is why I suggested we get our tickets for the start of the day at 10am. Tickets are timed, which means that you can’t enter until the time on your pre-purchased ticket, but once you are in, you can stay in as long as you like.

The exhibit is one big loop, and you can go around the loop as fast or as slow as you like, but as one dad pointed out, you might have to deal with a “codger bottleneck” or a pack of school kids. Security prefers that you not go the wrong way on the path. My daughter Stella (15 months), enjoyed walking through, so I stayed at her pace anyway. A couple of the dads made two loops because their kids were napping during the first go round

The show is a little pricey ($20 for adults, $10 for kids 2-12) but it's a good chance to do something you can’t do year round. Strollers aren’t allowed, as there is no room, so bring a carrier if your child doesn’t walk. However, there is stroller parking for those parents that do bring their strollers. I drove up there with a friend which is the easiest way to get there, but parking is $12, if you don’t have a membership. Metro-North is also a fast option, and right across the street. To get there via the subway requires a bus or a schlep as well.

All in all it was a fun experience, if not a little redundant for me on my third trip. Fortunately, the kids loved it and that’s what matters!

Frustrated Dad!

No parent enjoys seeing their child with a bad cold. It hurts your heart because you see them suffering to breath and there is not much you can offer them except a small band-aid of using a humidifier, steam in the bathroom, or little nose drops. It pains me to see my son burning up with a fever and the fussiness that comes along with it as he vents his frustration.

My 16-month old son has always been a very good eater - from enjoying his pancakes or oatmeal in the morning, yogurt and fruit for lunch, and chicken, eggs, or meatballs for dinner with potatoes or pasta. Snacks run from rice cakes to cheerios to graham crackers. He is usually open to try new foods and textures. For drinks, he enjoys his milk or water from his straw cup.

Let me explain my frustration with this particular cold. For the past 5 days, my son has been battling a nasty cold including a stuffy nose, fever, head congestion, cough. For the most part, his spirits have been high, and that makes it easier to entertain him. However, he has decided to stop eating EVERYTHING except Gerber's Puffs. This means during the course of a normal meal, I observe my son throw all of his food on the floor or turn his head in disgust at the sight of any of the courses. For example, I prepare a meatball for him which I know he always loves and devours, and see he him pick it up, and throw it to the floor with gusto. Course after course served to him is wasted - so unlike him.

Fortunately, my son continues to drink regularly from his water bottle as well as drink his milk so dehydration is not an issue.

I know when I get a bad cold my hunger wanes, and I have little desire for meal time. Is this the case with my son? I figured it would last a day or two, but six days? Has anyone else experienced something like this? Any tips or advice to share for this FRUSTRATED DAD?

U.S. Airways Bends Over Backwards For Parents

Recently, we have had a lot of travel discussion on this blog including travel tips from Pauline Frommer and some travel woes from a few of the dads in NYC Dads Group.

My wife & I embarked on a trip to Phoenix, Arizona this past week with our 16-month old son. I was so pleased with the service level on U.S. Airways that I have to share my positive experience. Most parents know that when your child is under the age of two, they are able to fly on your lap for FREE. Consequently, a five hour flight with a 26-pounder on my lap did not sound ideal, even though it results in a cost savings of $400. During check-in, we wanted to work the system to our advantage so our first question is always, "is it a full flight?" Once we learned there were some empty seats and that the service desk associate was a parent (displayed empathy towards us)- they tried to set us up with a window seat & aisle seat, with the middle seat unoccupied. This would enable us to have an extra seat so our son would not have to remain on our lap, and some extra room to spread out for books, toys, diaper changing, and nap time.

Initially, they were unable to accommodate us because all of the aisle & window seats were already spoken for on each row. Then, the service desk associate had another idea - she stated that she could page the gentleman in the aisle seat in row #18, and ask him to switch with our aisle seat in row #20. I was shocked that the U.S. Air associate suggested this, but I was certainly not going to argue with her plan. It worked & we were able to fly with the extra seat for our unpaid "lap child." It made for a much more pleasurable flying experience!

Additionally, the boarding process with our kid was a breeze with U.S. Airways...unlike the stories I have heard about Delta Airlines. First, it was a luxury to pre-board with our child before the masses so we could set-up in our seats, and still have plenty of room in the overhead bins. Then, the gate associate did not give us a hard time as we trudged on with way more than your standard one carry on + one personal item. I would certainly recommend U.S. Airways as a partner for parents in the friendly skies!

Finally, a few tips learned from travel expert Pauline Frommer and some of the well traveled dads that worked for us for additional smooth flying with our son:

• Bring lots of books and read them several times each
• Bring lots of different food options in case your child refuses their usual meals
• Give your child milk or something to drink during take-off and landing to ease the air pressure and discomfort in their ears
• When our son got fussy and loud on board, I ignored the "looks" and "comments" from some of our unfriendly passenger neighbors - Frommer suggested "ignoring the other passengers because you should assume you will never see them again" - we certainly did!
• The window seat is the best seat in the house because your child can watch the other airplanes taking off (a bonus when your plane is delayed on the runway for 45 minutes) as well as providing at least 20 minutes of sheer enjoyment as your child opens and shuts the window shade. Great for you, but annoying to your neighbors.

Happy travels to all of the dads and parents during the holiday season!

Interview Series: Personal Thoughts from an At-Home-Dad

1. How did you come into the role of being an at home dad?
The choice was mainly economic for my wife and I. When it came time to have our little boy she had a job that was more secure and offered better benefits and pay. The work I was doing was also able to be done part time from home. I think like many Stay At Home Dad’s the choice ends up being much more about practicality than philosophy.

2. What is the best part of being an at home dad?
I think the best part for me is getting to hear Theo laugh throughout the day. Whether it’s chasing him around the table or tickling his ribs with my nose – his laugh is like a drug that always makes me incredibly happy.

3. What is the most challenging part of being a stay at home dad?
Right now it’s the constant supervision he requires. It’s hard to wash dishes, or get dinner going when he’s running into the living room and I can hear things crashing to the floor. Also the lack of adult interaction is hard sometimes. I’m a kid at heart and love playing with Theo, but sometimes you long to go get lunch somewhere without having food thrown at you.

4. Everyone has tips. What kind of tips or best practices can you share about being an at home dad?
Make books an important activity every day. We’ve read to Theo 3-4 times a day since he was about 5 months old. We didn’t want to let him watch any TV in light of some recent studies and were wondering how that would work out in keeping him entertained all day. We have a huge bin of board books that he is constantly going over to and emptying. Then he’ll sit and try to turn the pages himself for a good long while. Consequently, when the TV is on he’s not so interested (yet). He really seems to love his books and that’s something we’re very proud of.

5. How has being a part of a dads group helped support you in your role?
Being a part of the group has been an incredibly enriching experience. As with any first time parent is it so helpful to be able to talk about your kids and the experiences of their development with parents who have been through it or that are in the same boat. The other groups I had investigated before finding this one were predominantly mom based and there is a very different camaraderie that exists in a group of dads. It has also been wonderful for Theo to be able to observe and interact with the other kids of varying ages.

6. How has being an at home dad affected how you feel about stay at home parents?
As a non-native New Yorker, I have always felt that one’s ambition and work are very important pieces of their identity. I think the desire to succeed in any given field is what brings a majority of the new additions to NYC. I grew up in the very family oriented Salt Lake City and I used to have a bit of a stigma against people whose sole ambition was to be a stay at home parent (usually mom). I have to say, being a stay at home dad has changed my perception of just how much work that job entails and how valuable and fulfilling it is.

7. When you tell your friends about your situation of being an at home dad, how do they normally react?
Many of my friends are bachelors and it’s surprising how interested they are in my experiences as a father. That being said, the discussions that I have with the dad’s group are usually much more detailed and helpful than those I have with my close friends on the subject. The person who has had the hardest time accepting my role as a stay at home dad has been my father. It has been a little difficult to deal with but I think he’s coming around. I feel like there is a generational difference to the experience of family and gender roles in America that is evidenced by his resistance to the idea of his daughter-in-law being the primary earner in my family.

8. You recently went on a vacation with your son across multiple time zones. Any successful advice or things to avoid?
That’s a tough one. We did 12 hours of flying over two days and it was really too much. Theo did wonderfully considering the circumstances but by the time we arrived at our destination we were all exhausted. The key for us in flying (he’s been on 10 flights in his first year) has been to know what keeps him entertained and when to switch tactics. Some of our most useful tricks were –

1) Giving him treats one at a time in the palm of your hand instead of letting him dig into the bowl himself – this is less messy and takes up much more time
2) Having his favorite books to read ad nauseam. On that trip he read through a number of his books 20 or so times. That’s when it gets more trying for us - there are only so many times I can say “One Fish, Two Fish,” in a 30 minute period.
3) Hope you get seated across the aisle from another kid or some kindly person that loves children. The flights when this has happened for us have been the easiest since you have someone new for your child to be entertained by for a bit.
4) When all else fails… sing (quietly). Especially songs that have repetitive verses and/or counting. On that trip we pulled out “This Old Man”, “There were 10 in the bed and the little one said…”, and “Old McDonald” – these can take up a lot of time and were very helpful to keep his attention toward the end. I’m not sure if our seat mates found them so entertaining, but better off key singing than a wailing child (I hope…)

The other piece of valuable advice I have from our last flight is to try and wait to get their nap going after the beverage cart has passed. Theo had been sleeping for about 20 minutes when the flight attendants woke him up with their beverage order taking and loud talking. It was a tired, cranky two hours of flying after that.