A Pre-School Discussion

Last week, I had the privilege of getting my feet wet on the infamous New York City Pre-School Process. That's not entirely true, watching the documentary Nursery University, was my first true experience with the process.

I attended the 92nd Street Y's workshop, lead by their Parenting Center Director, Sally Tannen, on "Planning Your Child's Early School Years - Learn the appropriate age your child can begin preschool, which programs are available, and how to observe a preschool." Overall, it was a very positive and non-threatening experience. Often times, I blog about what is going on in my parenting life - pre-school will now be one of the key topics. There was a lot to digest from the lengthy discussion, but I will try to highlight some of the key points provided for other parents interested in this topic.

• the term pre-school and nursery school are synonymous
• every pre-school program has a different age cutoff date so make sure you check the date of the schools you are interested in (some programs start at age 2.6 = your child MUST be 2 1/2 years old)
• Most nursery schools don't expect your child to be in a 2's program or to have learned the separation process beforehand - in fact, separation is one objective of nursery school
• NYC, Washington, Boston, and San Francisco are among some of the major cities that are in an extremely competitive pre-school environment

What is the purpose of nursery school? So many things, but Tannen pointed out that it is to...Be a part of a group, able to tolerate frustration, a place to play, to feel safe in an environment that is not home, a place to take risks, and learning from their mistakes while building self-esteem

What are the important factors (in no particular order of importance) when considering a particular pre-school?

• Exact age of your child and does it match the cut-off of the school
• Location - the closer, the more convenient
• Length of day
• Number of days per week
• Cost
• Separation phase-in process when your child begins

The Process

Introduction

• Make a comprehensive list of pre-schools that interest you (using resources such as The Toddler Book by Parents League of NY or The Manhattan Directory of Private Nursery Schools by Victoria Goldman & Marcy Braun)
• Go through the important factors list (displayed above) including birthday cut-off dates for each of them to widdle down your lengthy list
• Call each nursery school or visit their website to determine their application process (for most pre-schools it starts the day after Labor Day)
• Get prepared for a lengthy process that includes calling for an application, completing the application, going for a tour, a personal school visit (the interview), and the waiting game...this usually lasts from September (the day after Labor Day) until early March (when acceptance letters are mailed & received)

1. The Day after Labor Day - you call each school you are very interested in to request an application or schedule your tour (don't be upset, but the number of applications distributed to prospective parents are limited so you may get shut out from a few schools).

2. How many schools should you apply to? "This is a tough question", stated Tannen. "Realize it is a big disruption to your child to go on so many school interviews." Inferring from the discussion, it sounds like applying to only two schools is too little and ten schools may be too much. Demand is high in NYC because of the limited amount of bigger nursery schools, significant number of applicants, and because siblings get priority.

3. Going on the school tour - realize that these nursery schools want to minimize distractions for their current students so tours may be scheduled in the late afternoon or even on a Saturday. If it occurs during the normal school day, then it probably won't happen until late October or November once the school session has settled in.

4. Arranging for a personal school visit (most schools do not use the term interview) - Some schools use the term "playdate" because it is a small group of 4 - 6 kids playing together on one side of the classroom while the parents are in a discussion with the director on the other side of the room.

5. What is the school looking for during this personal visit? Does your child follow directions, does your child clean-up after an activity, and how does the parent interact with their child (if the opportunity presents itself). these playdates are short, only 20 - 30 minutes, so it is difficult to learn a lot from them.

6. "Getting in" - Around March 1st, the schools send out their acceptance letters. Chances are you will get wait listed to many of the schools that you apply. If you get accepted to a school, you have about 10 days to make your final decision so the schools can start working on their wait list. Think about this: Let's say a family sends in applications to 8 schools and their child gets into 3 of them. Well, they can only select one school, so two of the schools are going to have to use their waitlist. Basically, these wait lists are "for real!"

A few last notes as food for thought...

• if the nursery school application provides four lines and it says "tell us about your child" - use only those four lines to describe your child ("do what they ask on the application, not what they don't ask.")
• Dress your child like they are getting ready to play, when going to the personal school visit, not like they are going to a wedding
• there is no specific protocol about sending than you letters after the school visit - they are NOT expected

*Thanks to the 92Y Parenting Center Team for providing such an engaging and meaningful discussion. If you are interested in attending a future workshop on the pre-school process at the 92nd Street Y with Sally Tannen, they are offering it again on July 20th and September 7th!